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I'm searching for an interesting theme for my essay.

I am sitting here, in front of a paper with a lot of hearts, smileys and other little scetches on it and do not know what to write.

I could ask a lot of people but they can not help me. It should become my individual essay. I want to write about something personal.

So I have to work for my own. It is the first time, the first assignment for this study which you have to handle totally by yourself.

I feel overstrained with this.

Since I have moved to Holland I have felt alone a lot of times and now I have to work totally alone. I do not have a reason for asking my roommates, no reason for making a break and going to a different room to talk to someone, because I know: this is my assignment!

And I remember what I have thought so often in the last year:

You should work alone, you like to work alone. You learned not to count on the help of your fellow men. You learned how people have changed. You learned how unsocial they have become.

“I hate people!” This is, what I've thought all the time in the last year.

The reason for that can you find everywhere if you just open up your eyes...

...if you are driving your car and want to go left, nobody stops for you even if there is a long line behind you...if you are by foot and want to go over the street, nobody stops for you to let you pass, even if you are together with children...if you have problems, nobody can help you because everybody needs his full time to solve his own problems...if you loose something, nobody screams for you to indicate you...if you need help, nobody feels responsive and just looks away.

So why should you want to work with others?

Everybody just takes everything and does not give anything back. Everybody wants to have everything managed in his life but does not want to do anything for it. And if you start to help them, work for or with them, they expect a lot and are really angry if it will not be like they want it to be. But they do not do anything for it.

There was a time when everything was different; different people, different principles, different life: AUSTRALIA.

I went there, directly after my prom, after the learn-stress for my exams, after I quitted my three jobs and after I just thought: “This is the time, I hate people the most.”.

I went there to improve my english and I came back with an improved view on life, on people, on me.

It was the first time that I flew alone, and it was the first time that I flew for 18 hours.

But the journey started perfect. A woman in the waiting room said my name through a microphone and I was really scared that something was wrong with my tickets or with my visa or anything, but it wasn't. I was chosen to sit in the business class because the economy class was full.

When you sit in the business class, you get everything for free, have a big screen and a seat which can become a bed. It was a wonderful flight with very friendly people.

When I arrived in Perth it was totally dark outside and I had to go to my family myself so I took a taxi. The taxidriver was really friendly, explained where we drove through and made me just feel relaxed. It was nice to talk to somebody after such a long flight and also nice to go to bed directly after I arrived at my family's house.

I didn't sleep a lot, because it was day-time in Germany but the next day the weather was really nice for autumn and I went out to the city with my host-mother and she showed me everything. I lived with her and her husband and another korean student for two weeks, but I didn't enjoy to live with this family. I met so nice people in school but I couldn't see them after school because my last bus was on 5 o'clock pm, so I spend every evening alone in my room while my family was watching TV. That wasn't my life. That wasn't what how I wanted to enjoy Australia.

I talked to my teachers and my friends and they were really nice, understood my problem and tried to help me. One guy, I just met in the bus, offered me his flat for one week, because he went on holiday. An other familiy picked me up from school, showed me a park with kangaroos, went out for dinner with me and took me home at night. And the family of a german friend I met invited me for a nice evening and took me home at night, too. Everybody was so friendly, everybody tried to solve my problem, tried to help me and tried to find a new family for me.

And at the end of my second week in school they said to me that I could move to a new family, an old lady who lives alone, on the next monday. It sounded so good. I was really happy. They said to me I have to go there alone again, but the guy who offers me his flat before brought me to my new host-mother on sunday night, just a few hours after he came back from holiday.

And the old lady, Suzie, was the best family I could ever find. She cooked dinner for me and asked me why I wanted to move in as abrupt as I did and I explained her the situation in the old family. Suzie listened and changed everything. She went out with me to a big park where we had a picnic while we watched sleeping and eating koalas. She had a son who took me out for party and for surfing. And we had a glass of wine every night in her heating room and talked. She listened to me and I listened to her and we had a really nice time. Especially when her mother came for a visit. Her mother is 86 and can drive her car perfectly, even in the night. She said to me all the time that she doesn't want me to go back to Germany. Unfortunately the last two weeks of my stay were over much faster than the first two.

But Australia gave me a lot and I hope I gave something back. I definitely know that I will go back. I don't know when, but I know that there are people who miss me, who be there for me if I need them and who accept me just the way I am.

I learned that I shouldn't say that I hate people. People are not the same. I didn't meet a lot of people yet. I think I will meet more in my life and hopefully more like the people I met in Australia.

Because in Australia everybody was social, everybody had a look on me and on their other fellow men, if we are fine, not just on him- or herself.

Australian people make their life so easy, not so difficult and stressful and self-interested like the most European's. They say thank you all the time, they are waiting for the bus in lines and don't kill each other for getting the best seat, they help you if you need help and they just smile on you if you need a smile.

My best example for this friendly behavior was an old man in the bus. I had to met a friend in front of a shop but I didn't know how to go there so I asked him. No he didn't explain the way with a few “go right...go left...turn around...ask another person again...” like you would get as an answer in Germany. No, he showed me the way. He went out of the bus with me, went the street down with me and brought me to the shop, before he went back to the bus station.

I envy this people for their behavior, I am not like them anymore. I fit to them when I was together with them. I gave something and I got back a lot. But back home, back in Europe I am not like this anymore. Before I went to Australia I did a lot for my fellow men. I always tried to be there for them, help them with their problems, arrange everything, do everything. But I learned more in Australia. The people over there aren't just friendly, they also know how to make themselves happy and have good relationship with others. They act like they do because their fellow men do it too. They are friendly to each other because everybody is it. And if others aren't, you shouldn't try to make your relationship better by yourself. If others don't work on it you shouldn't work on it, too. It costs too much energy. Have a look on yourself if your fellow men do it too and don't let everybody treat you like they want.

I can't make the people social again. I can just watch out for the social ones, for the ones who aren't just self-interested, who are interested in me too, so that I can be interested in their life and listen to them too. I don't want to think anymore that I hate people, I just want to spend my life with them you aren't there to be hated, who are like me: the australian European's. :)

I think I found them in Holland and I found out who of my old friends is like that too because when you aren't living in one city with them anymore but you still have contact than you know that they are friends who are interested in you and your life. You should work for this relationships and be interested in their life too.